I Was Tired!

My first inspiration to start training in martial arts was Karate Kid! I wanted to be like Daniel!! I will never be a champion like he was but that's ok, I didn't join PMATC to be a professional fighter--I joined to learn how to survive. My story may remind you of the movie Enough with Jennifer Lopez. (I know all of the guys know what I am talking about here!) That was a good movie but the problem with it is that she gets backhanded once or twice and then she gets out. Then she goes to martial arts class for 30 min and she is able to kill a man!?

In the real world it's a nightmare that does not end and he does not hit you once. He attacks you mentally, physically, emotionally, verbally and financially. If you ever get brave enough to hit him back he will laugh at you and then send you to the hospital for your insubordinate behavior. He will do everything in his power to control you and keep you living in fear. I can honestly say that the only reason why I am free and alive today is because my abuser died. (I know what you are thinking! No I did not kill him!)

I came to PMATC because I was tired! I was tired of being beaten by a man who was 6'2" and three times as strong as me. I finally left him when he almost killed our 5 year old daughter with the car. The violence escalated from slapping me to pulling me up the stairs by my hair, kicking me in the stomach when I was pregnant for his child, choking me until I would pass out and pulling guns on me and threatening to kill me. I still have a bullet in my ceiling from one of his escapades. I was tired of being attacked and it was time that I learned how to protect myself and my children. I finally had to come to a point where I decided that I had enough!

Most of the people that you will see in a kickboxing class are big strong men. You don't expect to walk in and see a woman in the middle of all of all these men who are training to be fighters. We as women need to learn how to defend ourselves. Our motto needs to be "I win!" when it comes to the lives of ourselves and our children. As a parent we would do anything to protect our children and we need to know that we are just as important as our children and we should also keep in mind the fact that we have a much greater chance of being attacked by someone that we know and trust rather than a stranger.

I have a horrific history of abuse from when I was 5 years old beginning with my parents and my mother's boyfriends. I have been through more trauma and abuse in my life than most people can even comprehend. Every last one of my abusers and attackers were people that I knew and trusted. Most of them were people that I loved and looked up to for protection. When you think of being attacked you think of a dark parking lot in the middle of nowhere with a mean looking man coming towards you dressed all in black and holding a gun. (Now why you decided to park there in the first place is beyond me!?) You don't visualize your attacker to be Mom or Dad or someone that you love.

I work at a battered women's shelter and I have seen women who have been shot and stabbed and beaten beyond recognition. I believe that every woman needs to know how to defend herself. Physically men are stronger than women and some of them take advantage of that fact.

I have been a member of PMATC for over three years now. I travel for two hours every Monday and Wednesday to go to class and I have had people ask me why I don't go to a school that would be closer? My answer to them is that is unimaginable and unacceptable! My family is here at PMATC. I have always been accepted as part of the family and I have always received nothing but respect! The students and teachers are patient with me because they know that I am not as powerful as they are and I will never be a "natural athlete" like some of them! I look forward to class because it is always fun and we never have to do the same old routine twice!

Besides the fact that I receive excellent training by amazing teachers I have also received something much more. I have been taught that I am worth something and that I do not deserve to be abused and that I matter as a person. The mental training is as excellent as the physical training. The teachers care about you as an individual and believe that we all deserve respect.

I will be with PMATC until I get too old and they tell me that I can't come to class with my walker anymore! Until then I will stay here with my family enjoying my training!