HOME     CONTACT PMATC     PMATC EVENTS     FACILITY SCHEDULE         If attitude was all it took, we'd all be famous I hope this article will provoke thought about ones accepted ideas of self-defense, violence and their martial training. I am a very strong proponent towards a persons attitude in a self-defense situation. However, I feel many people seem to prize their "attitude" more than their capacity for reasoning, often possessing more attitude than reasoning. What concerns me about purveyors of attitude is that they seem to forget that the wisdom of Al Capon can also be apply to them, "You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone." Most people fail to realize that a violent person also has an attitude and often a weapon to back it up. Most people reflect what has been observed about murderers, they are out of touch with the experience of being the victim and with their own potentials for experiencing pain and/or injury. Dr Stanton Samenow's "Inside the criminal mind" is the best book I have ever read on what goes on with criminals, abusers and other lowlifes. It makes total hamburger out of many of the sacred cows regarding why criminals do what they do. I have begun to agree with Samenow's assertion that these people's actions don't come from low self-esteem, but the direct opposite. They are total ego maniacs. One of the most sobering thoughts to have as we progress in training should be that what we are training to do to someone else, someone else can do to us. Anytime a person uses violence, they must accept that inherently the same can be used against them. This brings up an interesting concept whose roots extend down into the maxim of "the willingness to use violence is the best deterrent against violence". This odd paradox is one of the most overlooked issues about self-defense and crime prevention. I would like you to consider this; The only time someone goes on a rampage is when he is the only one armed. While true "suicide by cop" episodes do occur, most people who are taken down during a rampage started shooting when they were the only ones armed. One of Samenow's major points is that criminals and violent people are not insane. A truly insane person would feel compelled to act, even if he knew he couldn't get away with it. In other words, it wouldn't matter if a police officer is standing right there, the criminal would have to act. The fact that they can control themselves means they are conscious and aware of their actions. They choose to act. Some people will not respect anyone any other way, but once they're in touch with what can happen to them if they behave in ways that involve disrespect their behavior can change (or they degenerate into a more disrespectful beast) Some who are out of touch will do things without thinking and start a fight. We have come to the crux of the matter of how to prevent violence. I want to stress: It doesn't matter if the guy can get away with it or not. What determines if the guy will attack or not, is whether or not that he PERCEIVES he can get away with it. Whether he has totally underestimated the situation (or doesn't recognize the danger signals) or his own internal garbage is so overwhelming that he is blinded to everything else but the message inside his own head doesn't matter. If he thinks he can get away with it he will go for it. You have to project the fact that you will punish him for any attack against you. In other words you have to let the guy know, right here and now, if he moves it's going to cost him. However this is the tricky part: YOU HAVE TO DO IT IN A MANNER THAT HE UNDERSTANDS!!. You can be the baddest meanest person that ever walked the face of the earth but if the clown who is thinking of messing with you doesn't understand your signals, he will attack. Many of these signals are culturally determined. The red flags of one culture won't be understood by another. If you work in a corporate environment your clothes are really going to hamper your attempts to send a "don't mess with me" message with someone who thinks he can get away with attacking you. Going flat eyed often isn't enough to overcome the mixed signals and the tough guys preconceptions. This is especially true when dealing with cultures who don't recognize it. What I have found to be useful for overcoming these mixed signals and it seems to work no matter what the culture or social level of the person confronting you is if you get a berserker maniacal gleam in your eye that says "Hey, I just learned this great disemboweling technique that I have been waiting to try out and you're volunteering, right? COOL!" This tends to cause most to sit back and reconsider how safe it is to attack you. Even if the guy is in the middle of an emotional hissy fit, the fact that you're projecting that you are going to really enjoy playing show and tell with his vital organs if he attacks tends to cause them to back down. If you go into a situation with the attitude of "I really don't want to fight" it will happen - it's almost guaranteed. If you go into a situation with the attitude of "I don't want to fight, but I'll drop you like a prom dress if you move" you have about a 50/50 chance. But, if you go into a situation with an attitude of "You know, I'm only hanging onto civilized behavior by a thread, and if you attack me you'll give me the excuse to gouge out your eye and skull f**k you to death - which is what I really want to do anyway. So PLEASE attack me.. PLEASE!!" You will be amazed at how many people will leave you alone. I know this sounds psycho, but remember It's not what you can do that will determine if he attacks or not, but what he thinks you can do to him. Just be prepared to back it up. Copyright © 2003 Progressive Martial Arts Traning Center. All rights reserved.